DAMN NATURE YOU SCARY! | Subnautica #1


Narrator: In the late 22nd century, Narrator: Humanity is beginning to colonize space. Jack: Ooooh. Narrator: Before colony ships arrive, habitation vessels are appointed terraforming missions. Jack: Ok. Narrator: The Aurora was one such vessel. Narrator: During it’s descent, the Aurora was struck by a mysterious energy pulse. Narrator: Resulting in catastrophic hull failure. Jack: Okay. Narrator: A single life pod jettisoned prior to impact. Narrator: You were in that life pod. Jack: Ooh. Jack: Me? (Yup) I’M A SURVIVOR! YAY! *WHAPOOSH* TOP ‘O THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE!!!! And welcome to Subnautica. An underwater survival game. Well, that’s what it looks like from the screenshots and everything This game has been in early access for a while, and I’ve seen… Some little tiny bits of it here and there, some little tiny bits of gameplay. Jack: THE FUCK WAS THAT? Okay, I’m gonna pause ’cause my frikin hunger is going down and I don’t want to die or anything (Who does?) Um I’ve decided to give it a shot because I’ve seen a lot more people in the comments, recently… Asking me to play it, and I was kinda interested in it myself quite a while ago. Aum, but I didn’t play it because Stranded Deep kinda came out around the same time. I didn’t really want two survival games going at the same time. But from what I’ve seen… This is a bit different. It’s set on a different planet. It’s on a different world and everything. And I’m an alien man, well not an alien man, I’m a human, going off and colonizing space. And, we’re off on this distant planet, trying to find stuff. Now I don’t really know what the hell I’m doing. Jack: Access Fragment Analyzer. I don’t have any fragments to analy- oooh. Are these things I can build? (Yes) Use Fabricator. Everything sounds so awesome, like- I can’t make anything, everything’s red. The fuck is that thing? That’s like Godzilla. Uhm. Okay, I don’t use anything. Do I just leave? Escape pod. Climb ladder. Which do I go out through? Is that you making that noise? All that noise, from you? You are one loud motherfucker- look at that ass! DAMN, THAT FISH GOT DAT BOOTY, SON! So there’s my ship. I guess we crashed. (You guess?) Something hit us, and we went down. And, everyone’s dead on board apparently. I wonder if I can go over to it? Shut up! Look at all these dudes! This is cool though. I’m glad this is, like, a different planet. And not, like, earth. ‘Cause that’s one of the things that Stranded Deep is doing bad, that I don’t like. Is that it’s too realistic. But I’m not gonna try and compare them too much. I think that guy might be bad, so I’m gonna stay away from him. I’m gonna (or wanna) go over there. Where all those blue things are. Swimming, swimming, swimming. I need food! Where do I get food? (Go fish) Scrap Metal! I hear dolphins. Or something that sounds like a dolphin. Pickup quartz. Oh, there’s so much to collect! Look at all the marine life! Bot: Ten seconds of Oxygen remaining. Jack: oh, OH! That’s my air! OOH! I was looking at the bottom one, that was my thirst! What am I doing? Catch Peeper. Jeepers Creepers, Where’d you get those peepers? Also, he went under the ground as well. Why? Why you go under the ground? I’m gonna catch a Peeper. Come here, Peeper! Come here, Peeper motherfucker! Agr, Come here! I can’t swim fast enough! You are a… Garryfish. Garry! Meow! (Oh god) There ain’t nothing over here! Also, I’m not- I’m not standing on the ground. Even though I’m very capable of it. I’m like swimming on top of the ground. Okay, I’m just gonna go around and collect a bunch of stuff. And maybe then I’ll be able to build something? I want to build, like, a weapon, so I can kill stuff faster. How are you carrying that shit on the ground? Oh, I can dig the sand! Can I- What the fuck? I can just keep digging a whole. That’s kinda cool! That’s awesome! Check out my sand hole, yo! I actually seem to be getting closer. I wonder if I can actually go to my ship? I’d imagine I can’t get into it, though. Because there’d be a lot of stuff on board that- let’s just keep swimming around. This is kinda freaky, though. What the fuck is that thing? Everything’s all weird looking It’s all- It’s all alien! Cause it actually is. They’re all aliens. Can I- Can I kill you? Are you gonna kill me? OOOUCH! RUN!!!!! SWIM!!!!! MOTHERFUCKERS! Is he right on my ass? No! I gotta go- What the? Why is making a… thing? Is this escape? Something’s flashing over there. What is it? Oh, it’s my ship! Ok, or my escape pod. Good lord! I don’t know what the fuck did I catch? I caught something by the eyeball! You okay? You’re mine now. You’re coming with me! Bot: Caution: Calorie deficiency detected. Calorie deficiency? Eat this guy! (Jack noises) Oh, I can let you go. Hah. See you later! Oh, god! No! No! (Jack Faces) I almost drowned! I did not realize that was so deep! Oh! Ah, that’s what she said! Ha ha! Come here, you Peepers! Come here you- Oh, I caught a peeper! You’re coming back to Jackland! You’re coming back to my humble abode! And I’mmona eat you! You don’t look very delicious You’ve got- Well you do look like you have a big septic eye at the side of you! So that’s kinda cool. I have 11% food people! Look at my cutie little thing. Can I go in through the bottom? Yes. (That’s what /he/ said) Ok, cool. That thing wanted to kill me! Can I make food now? Bot: (Creature?) discovered. Resources. Uh, Titanium, no, Silicone- FOOD, FOOD! Cooked Peeper! Yes! Did- Did I get something? How do I? Inventory. Cooked Peeper. Jack: Eat. Bot: Life signs stabilizing. I ate him! That was awesome! I put him on the fabricator, and lasers just shimmy-shammed him all up into bits! I’m gonna go get another one. I’m gonna get so much food. Could you just shut the fuck up? Oh god, I fell in. Oh, god. Scrap Metal! Yeah! Grab this! Is he coming after me? No. I need to go catch a fish. C’mere. What are you? I want to catch something. Come here doo-dad. What is your name actually? I d- Airsack! Eeew! I don’t want to eat a Airsack! I’m gonna go in. Watch this. I have, like, a super secret compartment into my escape pod. You go down in through the tunnel. And then you come up through the ocean’s butthole. Right up into my space ship! Ooh, I can make water! That did NOT look like filtered water. That just looked like a cube. Oh, oh! It’s night time! Oh, that looks awesome! Could you shut up? ah, some of them kind of light up under the water what are you! you are awesome lookin’ I couldn’t grab you tho…why there some quarts (Quarts, Quarts, Severus Quarts) I”m gonna grape that I need some salt deposits I cant cook food without salt thats actually how the game is that’s just that’s just no me making a joke trying to be funny for the sake of the video *Laughs* i actually need salt to cook the food pick up acid mushroom *Laughs* not only am i doing shrooms but am also doing acid at the same time *Laughs* this game knows whats up *silence* it’s bEUTIful tho *more silence* time passes very fast tho do I have like a-a watch or a clock or somethin’? I don’t know but lets press some buttons the buttons don’t do anything *laughs* every thing looks like it wants to kill me! what are you? a floater *observes with disgust* uuUHHHg I got a floater oh! your floating the rock so if i take all you guys will you stop f-floating the rock yeah *giggles* Bot: 10 seconds of oxygen I hear ya are you going to keep doing that eveytime I mean maybe its good that you are warning me that i don’t have enough oxygen but good god your going to get annoying after a while in to the ship get in get in!! there we go! I just like how he just like worps into it right. can we actualy do anything food! no equipment! nope tools!…nope nope no-ohhh titanium+silicone… *Loud and obnoxious rawr* jack: and glass?! lets make some titanium oh I need some silicone and I can make a knife *another Loud and obnoxious rawr* jack: yeah. is this is what the future is like!!? every thing gets made for you super quick like that yeah! knife!! oh oh it is going to be to knife to meet people in the mornin look at this shadow up in the background it looks so menacing and scary 98% power. what happens when that goes to zero. Do I die?? I can make a sea glide. I need a power cell and some copper wire how to make copper wire I need 2x copper ahhh ok. i need 3x cooper ’cause a- acid mushrooms make battery’s? i don’t know how you work game ahh equipment…a pipe! pump oxygen from the surface so can i use you to get oxygen from deep under the water like a snorkel oh no No! I did not mean do do dat is it morning yet? *and yet another Loud and obnoxious rawr* jack: oh it is! awsome! now i am going to get my knife and kill this big noisy bi*ch( bout time) were are ya were are ya making all that noise were ja go? there ya are come here. are you stuck? OH oH OH oH OH OH god how did i end up inside? i did’t click any thing! i’m broken i’m broken good THE GAME IS BROKE HELP!!! can i kill your face? stop stop oh there we go there we go stab stab staby stab are you dead? ha ha ha what is happening? your still making nosie i do’t know whats going on now you gone but i can still hear you that is really damn annoying there worst part about you is the sound thats the one part i wanted to go away oh god oh god oh god are you oh god no stay away from me fookin as*hole i wanna stab him come er come er ohhh doing a circle around ga come here. am i even hitting you? come back with my scrape metal why you guys a*shole’s? ohhh i saw blood i saw- i drawn blood i’m drawn blood drawn blood yes!! were on the way can i just grab you? nope nope get em get em kill his a*s i cant do fukin anything im running out of air will you come back here with my scrap metal mother fu*ker *some noise* will you guys die please- somthin die i need to eat you, you look Delicious i mean your angry but you delicious the angrier you are the more tender the meat is ohh god i’m being attacked!(i wonder why?) i only have 10 seconds of oxygen! damn nature you scary! those guys are assholes! fuck those guys! im just gonna just get my salt my inventory is full! Full of what!? what do i have? i have stupid floatys! get out floatys! i don’t need you guys go away go away go away floatys! float away to the surface. there you go floooat on ny i want to get my food up but i need more salt you thing it would be easy to find salt inside the sea but no- ohhh tunnel? Tunnel… ohhh. what the hell is in here? quarts lots of quarts yeah wha-what the fu*k are you jeasus crist! no go away! ahhhhh! under water is a douche bag everything wants to kill me!! this is cool tho. its cool to have a game that is based almost internally underwater ooohhhh and the fish pop out and everything those little peppers! i like the peppers they are my favorite to far umm I think i might have to repair this guy after a while. i dont know i dont really understand alot of whats going on but i think i have enough yeah i have enough for filtered water which is goodd than i can get food my food goes down super fast! nope i neeeeed somthin oh god i don’t have any food damnit oh oh no don’t drown don’t drown don’t drown don’t drown don’t drown don’t drown ooohhhhh we just made it so close to drowning-look at that purple sky! its so pretty are you serious (yep) i can make my place bigger hold on a fiken minute i did not know that lets see oh wait can i not click on these ohh maby in need like, oh it was here somewere i think there was a constructor constructor build vehicles wielder for repairs builder! builds underwater basses and submarine models need a computer chip and a battery ooohhh spooky oohhhh this is cool narrator: 10 seconds remaining, Jack: oh god oh god get out oh i thought it was nighttime for some reason it was really dark in there also i found out that limestone deposits there like little lumps on the walls they can have copper in them i got gold and some titanium as well things are about to get real interestin i though copper id have to go and find copper wire or somthing like these come on copper copper yes i think i have two coppers now Narrator: 10 seconds of oxygen Jack: which i think made somthin didint it i dont know lets head back whooo things might get cool look at all these floaters stricken to gather running around in circles hey dudes ohh theres a pepper in them oh no i kinda feel bad for him did you guys kill him i thINK we might have enough items for a certain thing i need copper wire…i got two more coppers im understanding a lot how the game works now two a sea glide yay can i just drop stuff in here *laughs* there is a whole floor of titanium why would-why would i need a storage unit pick up sea glide yay how much space did you take up? holy crap you took up a whole bubble of them kay ill pick up as many of these as i can wait no i shouldnt cause i need room i need room to pick up things for out side and ti dont need the titanium out there just going to leave you all here i dont know if your going to be here when i get back but now this thing WAAAHW YEAH! now i can get around so much faster this is so much better oh god game what are you doing to me WEEEEEEEEEEEE ohh look at this what do you do? do you hurty? see if i can eh eh creepvine *random noises* stab the creepvine i did somethin creepvine piece wa narrator:10 seconds of oxygen jack: oh god oh god do this *inhaling and exhaling quickly* ohhh im ok phf what was-what was that stuff? ohhh now i can build a builder he if im building a builder does that make me a builder already-probaly builds underwater basses and submarine models NICE!!! pick up that bad boy now how do i use you? ohhhmOHHHHH i want to build a corador how-how do i build a corador how-how do i build? i dont know how this works! aahhmm oh wait-could i i dont think i can build off of this aahmm corador dont know if i attach this or if i just build mine in the middle of nowhere? i dont know how this works whats attacking me?! ow!! ok i figured it out! you put down a corador like this than you go up to it and you leeeft click to constr-uct spadush! hold E to deconstruct. ho-what do i do with this hahaha did i just make a corador for no reason oh i can see in side. GREEEAT~ ooh you guys are going to be proud of me remember how i was trying to build a base i did not really know how to go about doing it i thought you added them on to the excape pod which i now realize makes no sense no god damn sense but LOOK! i made a little base it might not be perfects i had to put a glass panel on the front and then now can i get in? there we go. i have my little ship there is no power tho you need to actually need to add power so i can add stages to it and then this can be my little resource hub i still need the other one cause i need to put the reconstructers in there unless i can make one oh no its a fabricator-I can make one! all i need is two bits of titanium i have those hold on a jiminy cricket let me go back into my ship this is cool neeewewewew AWsome so if i wanted to will i need like a power source as well so if i wanted to later i could just build a base miles away and that will be perfect there is oxygen i here anyway AWsome. ok! well im going to leave this video here this game is really cool and i say i see a lot of potential in it for future episodes and i think it is gonna make a great series. cause theres a lot to do in it and i can build like my own proper base a lot easier than i can in some other games like you have to go off and get materials but they are really really plentiful so you can make a super big base if you want to really really quikly and i dont have to spend all day chopping down logs or findden trees or anything like that which is really cool but anyway THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS EPISODE IF YOU LIKED IT PUNCH THE LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE LIKE A BOSS AND high fives all around *WHAPOOSH* *WHAPOOSH THANK YOU GUYS AND I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT VIDEO DAMN YOU NATURE YOUR SCARY

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